The 6 AM Run

A few years back I had a friend with two toddlers. She got up at an ungodly hour everyday to work out and have some time to herself. I remember my reaction as she told me this. It was something like "WHAT!! Why in the world would anyone sacrifice sleep to work out? Why wouldn't you just take your kids to the gym (they have a childcare area)? Or why couldn't your husband watch your kids so you could go?"

Because it doesn't work like that. At the time my first child was only a few months old. I had no idea what I was doing. I mean, I thought I knew. I have much younger siblings so I had previous baby experience and I have a degree in family psychology. Not to mention the dozens of parenting books I've read. Yes, I thought I knew everything. But parenting is one of those things you never will truly understand until your a parent yourself.

Before my baby was born I was accustomed to 9 hours of sleep a night so I was still adjusting to the lack of sleep. There was no way I was going to wake up any earlier than I absolutely had to. My daughter also wasn't at that separation anxiety stage yet. She couldn't have cared less who took care of her as long as she was being held and fed. I had not yet had the opportunity to hear her screaming and crying "Mommy!" I hadn't experienced the heartache and guilt of leaving behind a child that truly needed me. I could just hand her off and go do whatever my heart desired (for the most part) without feeling much guilt.

So, here I am over 2 years and another kid later. I have adjusted to sleep loss. It's one of those things I've come to accept as being a norm for another 10 years or so. Yes, I could take my kids with me to the gym but even the thought getting both of them dressed, in the car, into the gym, and deal with the heartbreaking cry is enough to keep me home. And yes, I could wait until my husband got home from work so he could watch them, but my husband works long hours. We only have a thimble full of time together before we have to get the kids in bed. I just don't want to frequently decrease that already short time. Plus, there is the heartbreaking cry and guilt thing again.

I have realized that my kids will only be kids for a blink in time. With work, preschool, chores and life my time with my family is already limited. I just don't feel like such silly things as time to myself and exercise should further limit that time. But I HAVE to have time to myself. A CRAZY mom isn't going to help out my family much. So what am I willing to sacrifice? Sleep. I drag my tired butt out of bed at an ungodly hour and pull on my running shoes, put ear buds in, and turn my iPod to my favorite playlist. I think my kids will thank me for it later.